Possesion

There is always a need within me to structure my life according to plans and according to times. I notice this behaviour within me is re-occurent. Where I want to take only one point. And then bring this point into a plan. A sort of idea within my mind of time and how I will over time return to this point and spend time on it. And how I will over time through utilizing this strategy become succesful.

I notice it all the time as I become involved within actions in my world. At the moment. Today I have been participating on the Desteni Forums. It’s been very interessting. Because I have been participating for the first time in a long while. I have been writing to people, and i’ve enjoyed a lot to simply express myself in words.

What i’ve noticed as I did this was a sort of energetic rouse. And a sort of hope, or desire within to be able to make this point of posting on the Desteni forum my purpose in life. And within making this my purpose I felt a nice a feeling welling up in my chest. As I was now having a purpose. What then happened was that I started to plan within my mind how I was going to structure my time to be able to make this purpose mine. How much time would I need to spend on doing this. How often would have to be on the forum. What would I have to give up in the rest of my world to do this?

Now it’s fascinating. I considered giving up music. As I said to myself that I won’t have enough time for music if I am spending time on the forum. It’s fascinating that the mind always searches, and always must place itself according to space and time. Because the mind functions through seeing progress. That is basically what the desire is. The desire i have is to make progress and to become better. And to see this change. That is something that I am completely addicted by I have realized.

What i’ve realized is that. It is possible to not make any plans at all. And only in not making any plans at all. And simply being here. Doing what is here in this moment. Is self-movement and participation actually possible. Because, if I am existing within my mind. Having a goal or a purpose in my mind. Then me here becomes non-existent. And when me here becomes non-existent. Then life becomes non-existent. And my life becomes pointless. Because I am the point. And if I am not here in the equation. Then what is the point?

So this is what i’ve realized. That it’s not nessecary for me to make a plan. It’s not nessecary for me to look into the future and see what I must do and not do. It’s not nessecary with the things that I am currently involved within. Instead. I look here in this moment. What is that I am going to do in this moment? And then I simply do that.

Though in some cases planning is needed. Simply because you realize that a certain amount of time is needed to be placed in a specific action on order to get that action done. Yet, planning from a perspective of saying. This is going to be my purpose in life. This is going to be my life chore. Is unnessecary. Planning is only needed and valid if there is a practical reason for planning. For example. I am doing a song. And I need two more hours of practice to be able to complete the song. Then it’s common sense to direct myself to sit down during two hours to practice the song until I am able to record it.

What is not common sense is to state within such a moment. That I am going to practice and make songs everyday, in the rest of my life, because I am so good at it, and this is what can truly make me something more within this reality. That statement is based upon ideas, upon illusions, and upon energies.

So the only solution I see is to direct myself within each moment. Simply doing what I see is needed to be done and then not thinking anything more about it. Simply stopping all participation in the idea of the future and progression. In the idea of a coming time.

Only utilizing planning and thinking about the future when there is a practical reason to do so.
So I am stopping this short possesion I have experienced now. I realize that this energy that i’ve experienced as I have participated on the Desteni forums have not been real. I realize that participation on the Desteni forum will assist and support me. But I also realize that it’s not nessecary to think about it, plan it, or give it a value. I simply participate in the moment. As I do in my entire life. I don’t need to have plans. And I don’t need to think about what I can handle and what I can’t handle. It’s irellevant in this moment. I can only do what I can do in one breath and not more. And thus I stop thinking. Because thinking is the disease that creates this type of experiences.